CHAPTER XI
LUCY WESTENRA'S DIARY
12 September.-
How good they all are to me. I quite love that dear Dr. Van Helsing. I wonder
why he was so anxious about these flowers. He positively frightened me,
he was so fierce. And yet he must have been right, for I feel comfort from
them already. Somehow, I do not dread being alone tonight, and I can go
to sleep without fear. I shall not mind any flapping outside the window.
Oh, the terrible struggle that I have had against sleep so often of late,
the pain of sleeplessness, or the pain of the fear of sleep, and with such
unknown horrors as it has for me! How blessed are some people, whose lives
have no fears, no dreads, to whom sleep is a blessing that comes nightly,
and brings nothing but sweet dreams. Well, here I am tonight, hoping for
sleep, and lying like Ophelia in the play, with`virgin crants and maiden
strewments.' I never liked garlic before, but tonight it is delightful!
There is peace in its smell. I feel sleep coming already. Goodnight, everybody.
DR. SEWARD'S DIARY
13 September.-
Called at the Berkeley and found Van Helsing, as usual, up to time. The
carriage ordered from the hotel was waiting. The Professor took his bag,
which he always brings with him now.
Let all be put down exactly. Van Helsing and I arrived at Hillingham at
eight o'clock. It was a lovely
morning. The bright sunshine and all the fresh feeling of early autumn seemed
like the completion of nature's annual work. The leaves were turning to
all kinds of beautiful colors, but had not yet begun to drop from the trees.
When we entered we met Mrs. Westenra coming out of the morning room. She
is always an early riser. She greeted us warmly and said, "You will
be glad to know that Lucy is better. The dear child is still asleep. I looked
into her room and saw her, but did not go in, lest I should disturb her."
The Professor smiled, and looked quite jubilant.
He rubbed his hands together, and said, "Aha! I thought I had diagnosed
the case. My treatment is
working."
To which she replied, "You must not take all the credit to yourself,
doctor. Lucy's state this morning
is due in part to me."
"How do you mean, ma'am?" asked the Professor.
"Well, I was anxious about the dear child in the night, and went into
her room. She was sleeping
soundly, so soundly that even my coming did not wake her. But the room was
awfully stuffy. There
were a lot of those horrible, strongsmelling flowers about everywhere, and
she had actually a bunch
of them round her neck. I feared that the heavy odor would be too much for
the dear child in her weak state, so I took them all away and opened a bit
of the window to let in a little fresh air. You will be pleased with her,
I am sure."
She moved off into her boudoir, where she usually breakfasted early. As
she had spoken, I watched
the Professor's face, and saw it turn ashen gray. He had been able to retain
his self-command whilst
the poor lady was present, for he knew her state and how mischievous a shock
would be. He actually smiled on her as he held open the door for her to
pass into her room. But the instant she had
disappeared he pulled me, suddenly and forcibly, into the dining room and
closed the door.
Then, for the first time in my life, I saw Van Helsing break down. He raised
his hands over his head
in a sort of mute despair, and then beat his palms together in a helpless
way. Finally he sat down on a chair, and putting his hands before his face,
began to sob, with loud, dry sobs that seemed to come
from the very racking of his heart.
Then he raised his arms again, as though appealing to the whole universe.
"God! God! God!" he
said. "What have we done, what has this poor thing done, that we are
so sore beset? Is there fate
amongst us still, send down from the pagan world of old, that such things
must be, and in such way? This poor mother, all unknowing, and all for the
best as she think, does such thing as lose her
daughter body and soul, and we must not tell her, we must not even warn
her, or she die, then both
die. Oh, how we are beset! How are all the powers of the devils against
us!"
Suddenly he jumped to his feet. "Come," he said."come, we
must see and act. Devils or no devils, or all the devils at once, it matters
not. We must fight him all the same." He went to the hall door for
his bag, and together we went up to Lucy's room.
Once again I drew up the blind, whilst Van Helsing went towards the bed.
This time he did not start
as he looked on the poor face with the same awful, waxen pallor as before.
He wore a look of stern
sadness and infinite pity.
"As I expected," he murmured, with that hissing inspiration of
his which meant so much. Without a
word he went and locked the door, and then began to set out on the little
table the instruments for yet
another operation of transfusion of blood. I had long ago recognized the
necessity, and begun to take
off my coat, but he stopped me with a warning hand. "No!" he said.
"Today you must operate. I shall provide. You are weakened already."
As he spoke he took off his coat and rolled up his shirtsleeve.
Again the operation. Again the narcotic. Again some return of color to the
ashy cheeks, and the
regular breathing of healthy sleep. This time I watched whilst Van Helsing
recruited himself and
rested.
Presently he took an opportunity of telling Mrs. Westenra that she must
not remove anything from
Lucy's room without consulting him. That the flowers were of medicinal value,
and that the breathing of their odor was a part of the system of cure. Then
he took over the care of the case himself, saying that he would watch this
night and the next, and would send me word when to come.
After another hour Lucy waked from her sleep, fresh and bright and seemingly
not much the worse
for her terrible ordeal.
What does it all mean? I am beginning to wonder if my long habit of life
amongst the insane is
beginning to tell upon my own brain.
LUCY WESTENRA'S DIARY
17 September.-
Four days and nights of peace. I am getting so strong again that I hardly
know myself. It is as if I had passed through some long nightmare, and had
just awakened to see the beautiful sunshine and feel the fresh air of the
morning around me. I have a dim half remembrance of long, anxious times
of waiting and fearing, darkness in which there was not even the pain of
hope to make present distress more poignant. And then long spells of oblivion,
and the rising back to life as a diver coming up through a great press of
water. Since, however, Dr. Van Helsing has been with me,
all this bad dreaming seems to have passed away. The noises that used to
frighten me out of my wits, the flapping against the windows, the distant
voices which seemed so close to me, the harsh sounds that came from I know
not where and commanded me to do I know not what, have all ceased. I go
to bed now without any fear of sleep. I do not even try to keep awake. I
have grown quite fond of the garlic, and a boxful arrives for me every day
from Haarlem. Tonight Dr. Van Helsing is going away, as he has to be for
a day in Amsterdam. But I need not be watched. I am well enough to be left
alone.
Thank God for Mother's sake, and dear Arthur's, and for all our friends
who have been so kind! I
shall not even feel the change, for last night Dr. Van Helsing slept in
his chair a lot of the time. I
found him asleep twice when I awoke. But I did not fear to go to sleep again,
although the boughs or bats or something flapped almost angrily against
the window panes.
THE PALL MALL GAZETTE
THE ESCAPED WOLF PERILOUS ADVENTURE OF OUR INTERVIEWER
INTERVIEW WITH THE KEEPER IN THE ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS
18 September.
After many inquiries and almost as many refusals, and perpetually using
the words `PALL MALL
GAZETTE ' as a sort of talisman, I managed to find the keeper of the section
of the Zoological
Gardens in which the wold department is included. Thomas Bilder lives in
one of the cottages in the
enclosure behind the elephant house, and was just sitting down to his tea
when I found him. Thomas and his wife are hospitable folk, elderly, and
without children, and if the specimen I enjoyed of their hospitality be
of the average kind, their lives must be pretty comfortable. The keeper
would not enter on what he called business until the supper was over, and
we were all satisfied. Then when the table was cleared, and he had lit his
pipe, he said, "Now, Sir, you can go on and arsk me what you want.
You'll excoose me refoosin' to talk of perfeshunal subjucts afore meals.
I gives the wolves and the jackals and the hyenas in all our section their
tea afore I begins to arsk them questions."
"How do you mean, ask them questions?" I queried, wishful to get
him into a talkative humor." `Ittin' of them over the `ead with a pole
is one way. Scratchin' of their ears in another, when gents
as is flush wants a bit of a show-orf to their gals. I don't so much mind
the fust, the `ittin of the pole
part afore I chucks in their dinner, but I waits till they've `ad their
sherry and kawffee, so to speak, afore I tries on with the ear scratchin'.
Mind you," he added philosophically, "there's a deal of the same
nature in us as in them theer animiles. Here's you a-comin' and arskin'
of me questions about my business, and I that grump-like that only for your
bloomin' `arf-quid I'd `a' seen you blowed fust `fore I'd answer. Not even
when you arsked me sarcastic like if I'd like you to arsk the Superintendent
if you might arsk me questions. Without offence did I tell yer to go to
`ell ?"
"You did."
"An when you said you'd report me for usin' obscene language that was
ittin me over the ead. But the `arfquid made that all right. I weren't a-goin
to fight, so I waited for the food, and did with my owl as the wolves and
lions and tigers does. But, lor' love yer art, now that the old ooman has
stuck a chunk of her tea-cake in me, an' rinsed me out with her bloomin
old teapot, and I've lit hup,
you may scratch my ears for all you're worth, and won't even get a growl
out of me. Drive along
with your questions. I know what yer a-comin' at, that ere escaped wolf."
"Exactly. I want you to give me your view of it. Just tell me how it
happened, and when I know the
facts I'll get you to say what you consider was the cause of it, and how
you think the whole affair will end."
"All right, guv'nor. This `ere is about the `ole story. That`ere wolf
what we called Bersicker was one of three gray ones that came from Norway
to Jamrach's, which we bought off him four years ago. He was a nice well-behaved
wolf, that never gave no trouble to talk of. I'm more surprised at `im for
wantin' to get out nor any other animile in the place. But, there, you can't
trust wolves no more nor women."
"Don't you mind him, Sir!" broke in Mrs. Tom, with a cheery laugh.
" E's got mindin' the animiles so long that blest if he ain't like
a old wolf `isself ! But there ain't no arm in im.
"Well, Sir, it was about two hours after feedin' yesterday when I first
hear my disturbance. I was
makin' up a litter in the monkey house for a young puma which is ill. But
when I heard the yelpin'
and owlin I kem away straight. There was Bersicker a-tearin like a mad thing
at the bars as if he
wanted to get out. There wasn't much people about that day, and close at
hand was only one man, a
tall, thin chap, with a ook nose and a pointed beard, with a few white hairs
runnin through it. He
had a ard, cold look and red eyes, and I took a sort of mislike to him,
for it seemed as if it was im as they was hirritated at. He ad white kid
gloves on is ands, and he pointed out the animiles to me and says, Keeper,
these wolves seem upset at something.
"Maybe it's you,' says I, for I did not like the airs as he give isself.
He didn't get angry, as I oped
he would, but he smiled a kind of insolent smile, with a mouth full of white,
sharp teeth. Oh no, they wouldn't like me, he says.
" Ow yes, they would,' says I, a-imitatin'of him.They always like a
bone or two to clean their teeth
on about tea time, which you as a bagful. "Well, it was a odd thing,
but when the animiles see us a-talkin' they lay down, and when I went over
to Bersicker he let me stroke his ears same as ever. That there man kem
over, and blessed but if he didn't put in his hand and stroke the old wolf's
ears too!
" Tyke care, says I. `Bersicker is quick."
"Never mind, he says. I'm used to em !"
"Are you in the business yourself ?"I says, tyking off my at,
for a man what trades in wolves,
anceterer, is a good friend to keepers.
"Nom' says he, not exactly in the business, but I ave made pets of
several and with that he lifts
his at as perlite as a lord, and walks away. Old Bersicker kep' a-lookin'
arter im till e was out of
sight, and then went and lay down in a corner and wouldn't come hout the
ole hevening. Well, larst
night, so soon as the moon was hup, the wolves here all began a-owling.
There warn't nothing for
them to `owl at. There warn't no one near, except some one that was evidently
a-callin' a dog
somewheres out back of the gardings in the Park road. Once or twice I went
out to see that all was
right, and it was, and then the owling stopped. Just before twelve o'clock
I just took a look round
afore turnin in, an, bust me, but when I kem opposite to old Bersicker's
cage I see the rails broken
and twisted about and the cage empty. And that's all I know for certing."
"Did any one else see anything ?"
"One of our gard`ners was a-comin' ome about that time from a armony,
when he sees a big gray
dog comin' out through the garding edges. At least, so he says, but I don't
give much for it myself,
for if he did `e never said a word about it to his missis when e got ome,
and it was only after the
escape of the wolf was made known, and we had been up all night a-huntin'
of the Park for
Bersicker, that he remembered seein' anything. My own belief was that the
armony `ad got into his
ead."
"Now, Mr. Bilder, can you account in any way for the escape of the
wolf?"
"Well, Sir,"he said, with a suspicious sort of modesty, "I
think I can, but I don't know as ow you'd
be satisfied with the theory."
"Certainly I shall. If a man like you, who knows the animals from experience,
can't hazard a good
guess at any rate, who is even to try ?"
"well then, Sir, I accounts for it this way. It seems to me that `ere
wolf escaped simply because he
wanted to get out."
From the hearty way that both Thomas and his wife laughed at the joke I
could see that it had done
service before, and that the whole explanation was simply an elaborate sell.
I couldn't cope in
badinage with the worthy Thomas, but I thought I knew a surer way to his
heart, so I said,"Now,
Mr. Bilder, we'll consider that first half-sovereign worked off, and this
brother of his is waiting to be claimed when you've told me what you think
will happen."
"Right y are, Sir," he said briskly. "Yell excoose me, I
know, for a-chaffin of ye, but the old
woman her winked at me, which was as much as telling me to go on."
"Well, I never!" said the old lady.
"My opinion is this. That ere wolf is a`idin' of, somewheres. The gard
ner wot didn't remember said he was a-gallopin' northward faster than a
horse could go, but I don't believe him, for, yer see, Sir, wolves don't
gallop no more nor dogs does, they not bein built that way. Wolves is fine
things in a storybook, and I dessay when they gets in packs and does be
chivyin somethin that's more afeared than they is they can make a devil
of a noise and chop it up, whatever it is. But, Lor bless you, in real life
a wolf is only a low creature, not half so clever or bold as a good dog,
and not half a quarter so much fight in im. This one ain't been used to
fightin or even to providin for hisself, and more like he's somewhere round
the Park a hidin an a shiverin of, and if he thinks at all, wonderin
where he is to get his breakfast from. Or maybe he's got down some area
and is in a coal cellar. My
eye, won't some cook get a rum start when she sees his green eyes a-shinin'
at her out of the dark ! If he can't get food he's bound to look for it,
and mayhap he may chance to light on a butcher's shop in time. If he doesn't,
and some nursemaid goes out walkin' or orf with a soldier, leavin' of the
hinfant in the perambulator well, then I shouldn't be surprised if the census
is one babby the less. That's all."
I was handing him the half-sovereign, when something came bobbing up against
the window, and
Mr. Bilder's face doubled its natural length with surprise.
"God bless me!" he said. "If there ain't old Bersicker come
back by isself !"
He went to the door and opened it, a most unnecessary proceeding it seemed
to me. I have always
thought that a wild animal never looks so well as when some obstacle of
pronounced durability is
between us. A personal experience has intensified rather than diminished
that idea.
After all, however, there is nothing like custom, for neither Bilder nor
his wife thought any more of
the wolf than I should of a dog. The animal itself was a peaceful and well-behaved
as that father of all picture wolves, Red Riding Hood's quondam friend,
whilst moving her confidence in masquerade.
The whole scene was a unutterable mixture of comedy and pathos. The wicked
wolf that for a half a
day had paralyzed London and set all the children in town shivering in their
shoes, was there in a sort of penitent mood, and was received and petted
like a sort of vulpine prodigal son. Old Bilder
examined him all over with most tender solicitude, and when he had finished
with his penitent said,
"There, I knew the poor old chap would get into some kind of trouble.
Didn't I say it all along?
Here's his head all cut and full of broken glass. `E's been a-gettin' over
some bloomin' wall or other.
It's a shyme that people are allowed to top their walls with broken bottles.
This `ere's what comes of
it. Come along, Bersicker."
He took the wolf and locked him up in a cage, with a piece of meat that
satisfied, in quantity at any
rate, the elementary conditions of the fatted calf, and went off to report.
I came off too, to report the only exclusive information that is given today
regarding the strange
escapade at the Zoo.
DR. SEWARD'S DIARY
17 September.-
I was engaged after dinner in my study posting up my books, which, through
press of other work and the many visits to Lucy, had fallen sadly into arrear.
Suddenly the door was burst open, and in rushed my patient, with his face
distorted with passion. I was thunderstruck, for such a thing as a patient
getting of his own accord into the Superintendent's study is almost unknown.
Without an instant's notice he made straight at me. He had a dinner knife
in his hand, and as I saw he was dangerous, I tried to keep the table between
us. He was too quick and too strong for me, however, for before I could
get my balance he had struck at me and cut my left wrist rather severely.
Before he could strike again, however, I got in my right hand and he was
sprawling on his back on
the floor. My wrist bled freely, and quite a little pool trickled on to
the carpet. I saw that my friend
was not intent on further effort, and occupied myself binding up my wrist,
keeping a wary eye on the prostrate figure all the time. When the attendants
rushed in, and we turned our attention to him, his employment positively
sickened me. He was lying on his belly on the floor licking up, like a dog,
the blood which had fallen from my wounded wrist. He was easily secured,
and to my surprise, went with the attendants quite placidly, simply repeating
over and over again, "The blood is the life! The blood is the life
!"
I cannot afford to lose blood just at present. I have lost too much of late
for my physical good, and
then the prolonged strain of Lucy's illness and its horrible phases is telling
on me. I am over excited
and weary, and I need rest, rest, rest. Happily Van Helsing has not summoned
me, so I need not
forego my sleep. Tonight I could not well do without it.
Telegram, Van Helsing, Antwerp, to Seward, Carfax
(Sent to Carfax, Sussex, as no county given, delivered late by twenty-two
hours.)
17 September.-
Do not fail to be at Hilllingham tonight. If not watching all the time,
frequently visit and see that flowers are as placed, very important, do
not fail. Shall be with you as soon as possible after arrival.
DR. SEWARD'S DIARY
18 September.-
Just off train to London. The arrival of Van Helsing's telegram filled me
with dismay. A whole night lost, and I know by bitter experience what may
happen in a night. Of course it is possible that all may be well, but what
may have happened? Surely there is some horrible doom hanging over us that
every possible accident should thwart us in all we try to do. I shall take
this cylinder with me, and then I can complete my entry on Lucy's phonograph.
MEMORANDUM LEFT BY LUCY WESTENRA
17 September, Night.-
I write this and leave it to be seen, so that no one may by any chance get
into trouble through me. This is an exact record of what took place tonight.
I feel I am dying of weakness, and have barely strength to write, but it
must be done if I die in the doing.
I went to bed as usual, taking care that the flowers were placed as Dr.
Van Helsing directed, and soon fell asleep.
I was waked by the flapping at the window, which had begun after that sleep-walking
on the cliff at
Whitby when Mina saved me, and which now I know so well. I was not afraid,
but I did wish that
Dr. Seward was in the next room, as Dr. Van Helsing said he would be, so
that I might have called
him. I tried to sleep, but I could not. Then there came to me the old fear
of sleep, and I determined to keep awake. Perversely sleep would try to
come then when I did not want it. So, as I feared to be
alone, I opened my door and called out. "Is there anybody there?"
There was no answer. I was afraid to wake mother, and so closed my door
again. Then outside in the shrubbery I heard a sort of howl like a dog's,
but more fierce and deeper. I went to the window and looked out, but could
see nothing, except a big bat, which had evidently been buffeting its wings
against the window. So I went back to bed again, but determined not to go
to sleep. Presently the door opened, and mother looked in. Seeing by my
moving that I was not asleep, she came in and sat by me. She said to me
even more sweetly and softly than her wont, "I was uneasy about you,
darling, and came in to see that you were all right."
I feared she might catch cold sitting there, and asked her to come in and
sleep with me, so she came
into bed, and lay down beside me. She did not take off her dressing gown,
for she said she would
only stay a while and then go back to her own bed. As she lay there in my
arms, and I in hers the
flapping and buffeting came to the window again. She was startled and a
little frightened, and cried
out, "What is that?"
I tried to pacify her, and at last succeeded, and she lay quiet. But I could
hear her poor dear heart still beating terribly. After a while there was
the howl again out in the shrubbery, and shortly after there was a crash
at the window, and a lot of broken glass was hurled on the floor. The window
blind blew back with the wind that rushed in, and in the aperture of the
broken panes there was the head of a great, gaunt gray wolf.
Mother cried out in a fright, and struggled up into a sitting posture, and
clutched wildly at anything
that would help her. Amongst other things, she clutched the wreath of flowers
that Dr. Van Helsing
insisted on my wearing round my neck, and tore it away from me. For a second
or two she sat up,
pointing at the wolf, and there was a strange and horrible gurgling in her
throat. Then she fell over, as if struck with lightning, and her head hit
my forehead and made me dizzy for a moment or two.
The room and all round seemed to spin round. I kept my eyes fixed on the
window, but the wolf
drew his head back, and a whole myriad of little specks seems to come blowing
in through the broken window, and wheeling and circling round like the pillar
of dust that travellers describe when there is a simoon in the desert. I
tried to stir, but there was some spell upon me, and dear Mother's poor
body, which seemed to grow cold already, for her dear heart had ceased to
beat, weighed me down, and I remembered no more for a while.
The time did not seem long, but very, very awful, till I recovered consciousness
again. Somewhere
near, a passing bell was tolling. The dogs all round the neighborhood were
howling, and in our
shrubbery, seemingly just outside, a nightingale was singing. I was dazed
and stupid with pain and
terror and weakness, but the sound of the nightingale seemed like the voice
of my dead mother come back to comfort me. The sounds seemed to have awakened
the maids, too, for I could hear their bare feet pattering outside my door.
I called to them, and they came in, and when they saw what had happened,
and what it was that lay over me on the bed, they screamed out. The wind
rushed in through the broken window, and the door slammed to. They lifted
off the body of my dear mother, and laid her, covered up with a sheet, on
the bed after I had got up. They were all so frightened and nervous that
I directed them to go to the dining room and each have a glass of wine.
The door flew open for an instant and closed again. The maids shrieked,
and then went in a body to the dining room, and I laid what flowers I had
on my dear mother's breast. When they were there I remembered what Dr. Van
Helsing had told me, but I didn't like to remove them, and besides, I would
have some of the servants to sit up with me now. I was surprised that the
maids did not come back. I called them, but got no answer, so I went to
the dining room to look for them.
My heart sank when I saw what had happened. They all four lay helpless on
the floor, breathing
heavily. The decanter of sherry was on the table half full, but there was
a queer, acrid smell about. I
was suspicious, and examined the decanter. It smelt of laudanum, and looking
on the sideboard, I
found that the bottle which Mother's doctor uses for her oh! did use was
empty. What am I to do? What am I to do? I am back in the room with Mother.
I cannot leave her, and I am alone, save for the sleeping servants, whom
some one has drugged. Alone with the dead! I dare not go out, for I can
hear the low howl of the wolf through the broken window.
The air seems full of specks, floating and circling in the draught from
the window, and the lights burn blue and dim. What am I to do? God shield
me from harm this night! I shall hide this paper in my breast, where they
shall find it when they come to lay me out. My dear mother gone! It is time
that I go too. Goodbye, dear Arthur, if I should not survive this night.
God keep you, dear, and God help me!
